Today I want to share about one of the most valuable lessons horses teach us about life and business, and that is the lesson of being congruent.
I am also going to share 2 simple ways to come back into congruence when you’re feeling incongruent.
You may be wondering what I mean when I say the word ‘congruent.’
When you are congruent, your internal state of being matches your external state of being.
Meaning, what you’re feeling on the inside – happy, sad, angry – is reflected on the outside through your body posture, the words that come out of your mouth, your facial expressions, your energy.
Often times, as humans, we are NOT congruent.
We are feeling scared, depressed or irritated on the inside, but on the outside we try to reflect to others that we are perfectly “fine.”
Has this ever happened to you before??
Well, that is incongruence, and the horses pick up on this immediately when we walk into their space.
Because they are prey animals, they’re extremely attuned to their environment, and they are constantly scanning for safety. Energetically, they can quickly tell when an incongruent human walks into their space. The horses can feel the person’s energy doesn’t match what they are trying hard not to show through their facial expressions, their words or their body posture.
For example, if you come into a horse’s space and you’re feeling really nervous about being near such a large animal, but you pretend that you’re totally comfortable, the horse will be able to tell.
Most likely, if that is the case, on the inside you have butterflies in your stomach, you may not be breathing very deeply, and your probably ungrounded. However, on the outside, you’re smiling and saying that you’re fine.
When the horse feels the incongruence or misalignment, she may not come right over to interact.
So, I invite you to think about this in terms of your own life, relationships, and/or business.
If you are incongruent, not only do the horses feel that, but humans feel it as well – whether consciously or subconsciously. If you walk into a meeting with a potential client and you are not congruent, the client is not going to be attracted to working with you because something feels off.
However, there are definitely going to be times when life happens just before you walk into a business meeting or just before you go on a date. So, here are two ways that you can shift into being congruent.
If it is inappropriate to share how you’re feeling then….
– Name the emotion to yourself.
This helps to release some of the energy that’s attached to it, as well as the resistance. It helps us to become more aligned and congruent and when we are aligned we are tapped into our divine self.
For example, the other day I got into an argument with my husband just before I had to go meet with a potential client. There wasn’t time to come to a resolution, so I left the house still feeling extremely upset. When I pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop, rather than just hopping out of the car and entering the meeting as if I was totally fine, I took a few minutes to check in with myself and name the emotion. This allowed the energy of the emotion to move through me, so I could be completely present and available to my potential client.
If it is appropriate to share how you’re feeling then…
Sharing something vulnerable and real helps to bring us into relationship and feel connected.
For instance, recently, I participated in a speaker training, where we were asked to go on stage for a couple minutes and share where we were from and one of our passions. One of the women in the training took the stage and tears started rolling down her face, and she said, “This is the most fucking scary thing that I’ve ever done in my life.” In that moment, I totally connected to her. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I wanted to go to coffee with her. I wanted to get to know her. I was completely attracted to her because she opened herself up and was vulnerable about what was happening for her instead of getting on stage and pretending that she was fine, or just trying to push through what she was supposed to say. She didn’t do that. She just was completely real, and that was the most attractive thing she could have possibly done. She was congruent, which made her magnetic.
When we are true to ourselves, when we come into alignment, when we become congruent, it is amazing what happens in the world around us.
Alignment has to be the foundation of your life and your business if you want to attract the life you want to live.
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Question of the week:
What does it feel like when you feel congruent?
When you answer, use #congruent.